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A Pickup Line That Endures the Test of Time

February 5, 2010

Although I’m pretty much a light weight when it comes to alcohol consumption, I have had my fair share of party days.

The fraternity stories seem to be endless.  The clubbing days of post law school days are legendary.

Throughout those great times, I’ve heard some awesome pickup lines but none can hold a candle to the pickup line of one of my clubbing buddies.

This dude – I’ll call him “Joe” – was awesome.  He loved partying with us.  He didn’t care he was the only one that didn’t go to college in our crowd.  Joe was truly a fun guy to be around – especially when he would introduce himself to women at a club.  A guy that would go out of his way to help you out whenever you needed it.

His performance at clubs and parties was truly a sight to behold.  This is what he would do:

After a few cocktails, we would scope out the scene and determine who Joe wanted to meet.  After some encouragement from the crew, Joe would then saunter his way up to the attractive lady.

Within earshot and with his eyes half closed because of intoxication with one hand in his pocket, he’d point at the lady.  But his signature “point” wasn’t really a point as he was so drunk, he could rarely extend his index finger straight.  Instead, his index finger would curl – almost as if he was pointing to his side.

With his hand extended in his twisted point, he’d then say (sometimes he’d yell depending on music volume and level of intoxication) perhaps the best line I have EVER HEARD:

“Excuse me, my name is Joe and you are the finest freakin’ bitch in here.”

Depending on the level of ladies’ hotness he would sometimes substitute “freakin'” for “F*cking”.

Absolutely classic.  To this day, I frequently compliment Vi with this classic (she does the same to me).

Happy Friday.

Here’s how you give her the finger.

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